Explore saboteurs’ descriptions and notice the ones that speak to you. Remember,
no one fits any Saboteur description completely. Look for the general patterns.
This has been adapted from https://www.positiveintelligence.com/saboteurs/
Controller
Anxiety-based need to take charge and control situations and people's actions to one's own will. High anxiety and impatience when that is not possible.
Characteristics
- Strong energy and need to control and take charge.
- Connect with others through competition, challenge, physicality, or conflict rather than softer emotions.
- Willful, confrontational, straight talker.
- Push people beyond comfort zone.
- Comes alive when doing the impossible and beating the odds.
- Stimulated by and connects through conflict.
- Surprised that others get hurt.
- Intimidate others.
- In-your-face communication interpreted by others as anger or criticism.
Thoughts
- The rational mind is where it is at.
- Feelings are distracting and irrelevant.
- Many people are so irrational and sloppy in their thinking.
- Needs and emotions of others distract me from my projects.
- I need to shut out intrusions.
- What I value most is knowledge, understanding, and insight.
Feelings
- Does feel hurt and rejected, although rarely admit to it.
Justification Lies
- Without the Controller, you can't get much done.
- You need to push people.
- If I don't control, I will be controlled, and I can't live with that.
- I am trying to get the job done for all our sakes.
Impact on Self and Others
- The Controller does get temporary results but at the cost of others feeling controlled and resentful and not able to tap into their own greater reserves.
- What is avoided doesn't go away and festers. Relationships are kept superficial through conflict avoidance.
Original Survival Function
- Underneath the bravado of the Controller there is often a hidden fear of being controlled by others or life. Controller is sometimes associated with to grow up fast, early life experiences where the child is forced to grow up fast, be on its own, and take charge of its chaotic or dangerous surroundings in order to survive physically and/or emotionally. It is also associated with being hurt, rejected, or betrayed and deciding to never be that vulnerable again.
Explore saboteurs’ descriptions and notice the ones that speak to you. Remember, no one fits any Saboteur description completely. Look for the general patterns.
This has been adapted from https://www.positiveintelligence.com/saboteurs/
Controller
Anxiety-based need to take charge and control situations and people's actions to one's own will. High anxiety and impatience when that is not possible.
Characteristics
- Strong energy and need to control and take charge.
- Connect with others through competition, challenge, physicality, or conflict rather than softer emotions.
- Willful, confrontational, straight talker.
- Push people beyond comfort zone.
- Comes alive when doing the impossible and beating the odds.
- Stimulated by and connects through conflict.
- Surprised that others get hurt.
- Intimidate others.
- In-your-face communication interpreted by others as anger or criticism.
Thoughts
- You are either in control or out of control.
- If I work hard enough, I can and should control the situation so it goes my way.
- Others want and need me to take control.
- High anxiety when things are not going my way.
- Angry and intimidating when others don't follow.
- Impatient with other's feelings and different styles.
- Does feel hurt and rejected, although rarely admit to it.
Feelings
- High anxiety when things are not going my way.
- Angry and intimidating when others don't follow.
- Impatient with other's feelings and different styles.
- Does feel hurt and rejected, although rarely admit to it.
Justification Lies
- Without the Controller, you can't get much done.
- You need to push people.
- If I don't control, I will be controlled, and I can't live with that.
- I am trying to get the job done for all our sakes.
Impact on Self and Others
- The Controller does get temporary results but at the cost of others feeling controlled and resentful and not able to tap into their own greater reserves.
- What is avoided doesn't go away and festers. Relationships are kept superficial through conflict avoidance.
Original Survival Function
- Underneath the bravado of the Controller there is often a hidden fear of being controlled by others or life. Controller is sometimes associated with to grow up fast, early life experiences where the child is forced to grow up fast, be on its own, and take charge of its chaotic or dangerous surroundings in order to survive physically and/or emotionally. It is also associated with being hurt, rejected, or betrayed and deciding to never be that vulnerable again.
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Adapted from https://www.positiveintelligence.com/saboteurs/
